


Tomas has never seen such BULLSHIT

by Talltoasterstruttle



Series: nct dream, astro and , stray kids [1]
Category: ASTRO (Band), NCT (Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Crack, Cute, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Shy Park Jisung (NCT), chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28635249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talltoasterstruttle/pseuds/Talltoasterstruttle
Summary: Babie: Chenle stole my ice cream, so I chased him until Renjun-hyung tackled me and found out I had my binder on and threatened me that he would run over me if I did it again.Sweet: the best part is Jisung looked at him with hope in his eyes and said please, that even scared Renjun lmaoBabybitch: We had to do that with Felix once Lmao, Channie hyung was PISSED
Relationships: none yet
Series: nct dream, astro and , stray kids [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098485
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	1. YEE HAW

**Author's Note:**

> insomniac: Chan  
> Minho: Catlover  
> Changbin: EmokidXD  
> Hyunjin: Drammallama  
> Jisung: CuteQukka  
> Felix: Theactualsun  
> Seungmin: Puppyboi  
> Jeongin: Babybitch
> 
> Park Jisung: Babie  
> Mark: Bark  
> Haechan: Fullsun  
> Chenle: Richmf  
> Jaemin: Jisungsmom  
> jeno: sweet  
> Renjun: Yourdeadtome
> 
> Myungjun: sunshine  
> jinwoo: Fragile  
> eunwoo: Actorboi  
> Moon bin: moon  
> Minhyuk: Dancerchild  
> Sanha: Jinjinsbby

Theactualsun created a chat 

Theactualsun named the chat “depressed squad”

Theactualsun added Insomniac

Theactualsun added Catlover

Theactualsun added emokidXD

Theactualsun added Dramallama

Theactualsun added CuteQuokka

Theactualsun added Puppyboi

Theactualsun added Babybitch

Theactualsun added bark

Theactualsun added Yourdeadtome

Theactualsun added Jisungsmom

Theactualsun added Sweet

Theactualsun added Fullsun

Theactualsun added Richmf

Theactualsun added Babie

Theactualsun added Sunshine

Theactualsun added Fragile

Theactualsun added Actorboi

Theactualsun added moon

Theactualsun added Dancerchild

Theactualsun added Jinjinsbby

Theactualsun: Hello children and old ones, introduce yourself!

Jinjinsbby: oohhh hey I know a max of like Seven people

Theactualsun: I asked Hyunjin for Sanha’s number and made a group chat with all of his friends and all of my friends as well :)

Dramallama: I’m Hyunjin! What are your gender identities? I’m cis!

Fragile: So you’re the kid that Sanha keeps talking about, I approved :)

Insomniac: And who might you be?  
Insomniac: I’m chan, and I’m nonbinary :)

Fragile: Jinjin- at least that’s what my friends call me- and I’m FTM :)

Babie: WAIT SAME OH MI GOD

Theactulsun: SAME IENIAF LJENFA:Q  
Theactualsun: I’m Felix and I’m trans :)

Jisungsmom: OH MY GOD JISUNG HAS A FRIEND 

Babie: I’m Jisung! And as you know, I’m ftm as well!

Sunshine: OH MY GOD JINJIN-AH I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU YOU HAVE A FRIEND!!  
Sunshine: I’m Myungjun, male.

Actorboi: Sanha I swear to god if this is another group chat-

Jinjinsbby: this time I didn’t create it!  
Jinjinsbby: I’m Sanha btw, I’m genderfluid

Actorboi: Oh- sorry lmao, I’m Eunwoo, I’m male.

Catlover: OH MY GOD THE CHA EUNWOO  
Catlover: I LOVE YHOU ALMOST AS MUCH AS NY CATS HOLY SHIT  
Catlover: I’m Minho and male btw

Actorboi: kjsfkb vkjlb thank you!

Moon: Don’t steal him, please  
Moon: btw I’m moon bin and Male

Fullsun: I’m late But YAY JISUNG HAS A FRIEND!!  
Fullsun: I’m Haechan and male

Richmf: Jisung you know what that means?

Babie: what?

Richmf: You have someone who you definitely have to listen to when it comes to taking off your binder

Babie: fridge

Richmf: I’m Chenle btw cis

Actorboi: we ourselves have to tell Jinjin-hyung to take off his binder- but- I’m sure he’ll tell you to because that’s just how he is. 

Dancerchild: I’m rocky, male  
Dancerchild: And we’re just as happy that Jinjin hyung has a friend :)

Insomniac: so wait who are like the parental figures of each group? Minho and I are Changbin’s, Hyunjin’s, Jisung’s, Felix’s, Seungmin’s, and Jeongin’s.

Fragile: Eunwoo and I are Myungjun’s, Moon bin’s, Rocky’s, and Sanha’s.

Sweet: the closest we have to a parent is Mark, but then again, Jaemin is Jisungs parent.  
Sweet: I’m Jeno, male :)

Yourdeadtome: we’re all Jisungs parents

Sweet: true true

Bark: don’t be fooled, for Jeno is not innocent.  
Bark: btw I’m Mark, I’m cis

Yourdeadtome: I’m Renjun I am cis

EmokidXD: I’m Changbin, I’m male 

Cutequakka: I am the one and only Jisung- wait there are two of us- Well I’m the oldest Jisung. I’m male

Puppyboi: I’m Seungmin, I’m cis

Babybitch: I’m jeongin, I’m also a cis

Insomniac: now that that sorted- let the chaos commence

Babie: Wait so we have Three trans people, one genderfluid, and one non-binary?

Fragile: Ohhhh we do, also, Frick off Eunwoo TT

Actorboi: What did I say?  
Actorboi: Ohhhh But it’s true

Babie: WAIT, Do you guys also like dance?

Theactualsun: WAIT I DO

Fragile: SAME HERE (Though Rocky is probably the best dancer I’ve ever seen)

Dancerchld: Stop promoting your children

Insomniac: THat’s a phat mood

Sunshine: Jinjin: I would personally walk over to you and tell you how much I love you but Im currently wallowing in self-hatred

Insomniac: I FELT THAT

Richmf: Jisung 

Babie: Yes? 

Richmf: Why didn’t you say “same” to that

Babie: Because I’m currently setting a house on fire with a bunch of Transphobes in it.

Theactualsun: COMMIT ARSON ON THOSE FUCKS

Jisungsmom: I’m so proud :’)

Babie: Nah fam I’m actually struggling with on-level math

Richmf: Good you cannot commit arson without me

Catlover: Wait how old are you guys  
Catlover: I’m 22

EmokidXD: 21

Drammallama: Me, felix, Jisung and Seungmin are all 20

Babybitch: I’m 19

Babie: I’m 18

Insomniac: Ohh We have a freshly adult child in here  
Insomniac: 23

Jisungsmom: Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, and me are 20

Richmf: 19

Sunshine: prob the oldest here but  
Sunshine: 26

Dancerchild: I’m 21

Fragile: 24

Actorboi: 23

Moon: 22

Bark: 21

Jinjinsbby: 20

Bark: Now that that’s sorted, Jisung :)

Babie: mom I’m scared pick me up

Jisungsmom: No, I know what he’s going on about.

Bark: Why the hell did you give me a happy fathers day card? And where did you even get one?

Fullsun: LMAOOOO

Dancerchild: I-

Moon: QUICK GIVE ONE TO JINJIN HYUNG

Babybitch: QUICK GIVE ONE TO CHAN HYUNG

Fragile: I am hurt  
Fragile: I am offended  
Fragile: but most of all,  
Fragile: I am betrayed  
Fragile: by my own children too

Jinjinsbby: You just-

Actorboi: Shush child you father is fragile.

Babie: Sooo Ummm this kid was like “want some drugs?” 

Sweet: WHAT

Yourdeadtome: WHAT

Babie: And I was like “Dude your selling drugs to a baby” And he was like “no??? Your 18???”  
Babie: Guess what I said

Bark: YOU SAID NO TO DRUGS

Richmf: You said yes so you could give me them

Fullsun: Chenle: Be cool do drugs

Babie: None of you are right.  
Babie: I excpected more of you Jaemin hyung.

Jisungsmom: Did you say you were my baby therefore you cant do drugs?

Babie: I said “I am an honorary baby, just ask my hyungs. But if you have a couple of fathers day cards, I’ll buy those!”

Theactualsun: You better said that, drugs messes with T shot.  
Theactualsun: I know from experience.

Insomniac: WHAT

Theactualsun: Haha I’m in: danger

Puppyboi: Chan just booked it across the campus

Bark: YOU BETTER HAVE PARK JISUNG

Babie: Of course I’m too baby for drugs

Richmf: PUSSY

Fragile: Sanha.

Jinjinsbby: Jinjin.

Sunshine: Oop your done for

Fragile: Why the hell did you walk into my room just to remind me that I’m 5’7

EmokidXD: DANMIT IM STILL THE SHORTEST

Fragile: W h a t

EmokidXD: I’m 5’6

Drammallama: Shortass

Actorboi: how tall are you?

Drammallama: 5’10

Fullsun: Jisungie is 5’11

Actorboi: me and Sanha are 6’0

EmokidXD: HOW IS THE BABIEST OF BABIES 5’11???

Insomniac: maybe he has a will to live

Babie: bold of you to assume that I have a will to live  
Babie: I would fling myself into the sun If it wasn’t for Chenle telling me that I still need to cause havoc upon rasist, transphobic, sexsist, bitches

Jisungsmom: JISUNG NO

Richmf: Jisung you’re a whole mood

Sweet: CHENLE

Insomniac: well we can cross one thing off the list.

cutequokka: Maybe he is good at math

Babie: nope I have a literal 1 in math

Cutequokka: Mood honestly 

Insomniac: Jisung you have a 0

Jisungsmom: Jisung you have a 0

Fullsun: LMAOOO EXPOSED

Sunshine: PARK JINWOO STOP RUNNING RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE YOUR BINDER ON

Fragile: Fuck off

Actorboi: HE IS W H A T

Dancerchild: Sanha tackled Jinjin-hyung down, to make him stop running. 

Babie: I mean, I relate to hyung so much

Bark: W h a t d o y o u MEAN?

Babie: Chenle stole my ice cream, so I chased him until Renjun-hyung tackled me and found out I had my binder on and threatened me that he would run over me if I did it again.

Sweet: the best part is Jisung looked at him with hope in his eyes and said please, that even scared Renjun lmao

Babybitch: We had to do that with Felix once Lmao, Channie hyung was PISSED

Theactualsun: I accidentally made changbin hyung cry once when I told him I ran with my binder on

Puppyboi: he does that every single time lmao

EmokidXD: STOP ATTACKING ME FOR BEING EMOTIONAL

Fragile: I am currently running from multiple people because they said some really inappropriate shit to me about me “Faking” being a male and I said “Just because your masculinity is so fragile that you can’t deal with the fact that a trans man is more masculine than you doesn’t mean you can take it out on me” 

Sunshine: WAIT YOU HAVE YOUR BINDER ONE

Fragile: I WOLD E WAKING EXEPT HTEY R HOLING A KNIFW FWELJKBEFLIAFLIN

Sunshine: WAIT I THINK I SEE YOU HOLD UP BITCH IM ION MY WAY TO THE RESCUE

Cutequokka: YONGBOK YOU HAVE YOUR BINDER ON

Insomniac: WAIT I SEE THEM TOO IM COMING

Babie: sooooo Jinjin hyung

Fragile: yes my sweet child

Babie: what happened? I’ve been crying for the past ten minutes?

Fragile: oh yeah  
Fragile: So they cut my back with their knife, also making me need a new binder, but Felix and Chan being the angels they are sent them to hell

Babie: I’m about to beat a bitch

Fullsun: Ohhh this baby is angry he never pulls the big boy words out of his ass.

Jisungsmom: Absolutely not, last time you did that they broke your arm

Sunshine: how are you baby :(

Fragile: I feel like I just got beaten up by a gorilla Then my (very secret) crush just told me they hate me

Babie: aw I’m

Bark: Jisung you okay bro?

Drammallama: Why do I see the baby running away from two girls

Yourdeadtome: Where the fuck is he

Sweet: where is he

Drammallama: food court.  
Drammallama: I’ll fend them off

Cutequokka: we’ve had two fights in one day holy shit

Drammallama: apparently they were mad at him for stealing “all 20 members of the NCT friend groups hearts.” 

Bark: there are 23? Tf?

Babie: did I forget to tell you guys about that lmao

Yourdeadtome: spill

Sweet: the

Jisungsmom: tea

Babie: So basically these bitches are on my fucking ASS all the time because I rejected one of their friends  
Babie: Which I rejected because I didn’t mentally feel ready to date anyone  
Babie: plus I already have my eyes, on someone  
Babie: So they called me the T slur  
Babie: then tell me that nobody actually cares about me so I should just accept the date.  
Babie: which I did cause I was scared  
Babie: Then they tried to force themselves on me  
Babie: So I call Taeyong, balling my eyes out and the girl is just like “weak fuck”  
Babie: then Taeyong beat them up :)  
Babie: and now they are mad at me for Taeyong telling 127 and Kun telling wayV and none of them will date them

Bark is typing  
Fullsun is typing...  
Jisungsmom is typing...  
Richmf is typing...  
Sweet is typing...  
Yourdeadtome is typing…

Fragile: I will get my ass out of this bed and beat their asses nobody hurts anyone in this chat  
Fragile: except for me

Actorboi: HYUNG N O

Bark: WHy DIDNT YOU TELL US??????????????

Babie: did you just have a voice crack through text

Bark: THATS NOT THE FOCUS HERE

Fullsun: Me @ you: BITCH I WILL CUT YOU LEGS OFF IF YOU DONT TELL ME NEXT TIME THIS HAPPENS

Jisungsmom: JISUNG I WILL CUDDLE YOU TO DEATH IF YOU DONT TELL US

Richmf: WERE BEST FRIENDS TELL ME NEXT TIME

Sweet: I WILL RUN YOU OVER IF YOU DONT TELL ME NEXT TIME

Yourdeadtomr: BABY PLEASE TELL ME PLEASE TT

Babie: Just like TT ahhh Just like TT ahh  
Babie: Also did Renjun-Hyung and Jeno-Hyung switch bodies?

Yourdeadtome: Fuck off

Babie: Nope

Yourdeadtome: I’ll fucking rip your backbone out from your mouth if you don’t shut the hell up you skinny shit

Babie:O_O

Jisungsmom: BITCH DONT TOUCH MY SON

Insomniac: sorry to interrupt but I just saw the cutes boy in my life

Babie: ohhh do spill

Insomniac: So he was a cm shorter than me, he had the cutest voice, and he was wearing a rainbow sweatshirt and some black sweats aND A FUCKING BOW  
Insomniac: HE THEN BLUSHED AND SAID HI????  
Insomniac: LIKE I WANTED TO FUCKING DIE LIKE REST ME ON MY GRAVE PLEASE

Cutequakka: Ohhh so that's why you were screaming

Insomniac: AND THEN HE WAS LIKE: “Your pretty hot- wait no umm- Ignore me I’m just a gay guy living my best life” GUYS HE THOUGHT I WAS H O T LIKE W H A T

Actorboi: WAIT HOLD UP  
Actorboi: HOW DO YOU SUMMON JINJIN-HYUNG

Sunshine: SANHA HOW DO YOU SUMMON HIM

Jinjinsbby: Hey wanna hear a joke?

Dancerchild: NO WE NEED JINJIN-HYUNG

Jinjinsbby: You wanna know whos short and depressed?

Moon: WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE

Fragile: DON’T YOU DARE

Moon: IKADNFH:IHFDKN READ UP

Fragile: WAIT THAT WAS YOU  
Fragile: YOU WERE THE HOT BOY THAT MADE ME WANT TO DIE BECAUSE YOU HAD SUCH A GOOD PERSONALITY?????

Theactualsun: HOLY SHIT

Fragile: I CAN DIE PEACEFULLY 

Babybitch: WAIT I SAW A LITERAL ANGEL

Puppyboi: ohhhh whos the lucky boy

Babybitch: HE WAS LIKE 5’11 BUT HE WAS SO FUCKING SWEET AND HE HAD A DEEP VOICE AND HE WAS REALLY SHY AND CUTE

Fullsun: OH MY GOD JISUNG

Jisungsmom: OH MY GOD JISUNG GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE

Babie: AHHHHHHHh  
Babie: WAIT YOU WERE THE REALLY HOT PERSON I ACTDENTLY DID SCISSORS TO WHEN THEY TRIED TO SHAKE MY HAND THEN I TRIED TO RUN AWAY BUT YOU GRABBED MY HAND AND HUGGED ME AND I CRIED BECAUSE IM SENSITIVE AUBARY THEN I PROCEEDED TO CRY TO CHENLE ABOUT HOW LIFE ISN’T FAIR?????  
Babybitch: OH MY GOD AHHHHHHHHHH


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> insomniac: Chan  
> Minho: Catlover  
> Changbin: EmokidXD  
> Hyunjin: Drammallama  
> Jisung: CuteQukka/ Squirrel  
> Felix: Theactualsun  
> Seungmin: Puppyboi  
> Jeongin: Babybitch  
> Park Jisung: Babie/ Chenlesbaby  
> Mark: Bark/Jisungsgrandpa  
> Haechan: Fullsun/Jisungsgrandma  
> Chenle: Richmf/Jisungssugardaddy  
> Jaemin: Jisungsmom  
> Jeno: sweet/Jisungsdad  
> Renjun: Yourdeadtome/Jisungsfather  
> Myungjun: sunshine  
> jinwoo: Fragile  
> eunwoo: Actorboi  
> Moon bin: moon  
> Minhyuk: Dancerchild  
> Sanha: Jinjinsbby

Fragile: Who told you to be so hot

Jisungsmom: who are you talking to?

Fragile: every single one of you reading this

Fragile: you all are too hot for a small gay man like me (except for the under twenty people yall are just- UwU)

Moon: aww you love us

Fragile: except for you

Moon: damn dad what did I do to deserve this?

Fragile: put two in two together moonbin

Moon: help?

Bark: he means to say your way too hot for him to handle

Moon: what?

Bark: I've been living with Jisung since me and the bois moved in together

Fragile: Okay furry

yourdeadtome: LFJDBALIFKBAIBF I-

fullsun: JESUS CHRIST I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE LEAST SAVAGE

Bark: you're the one who used 'UwU'

Fragile: I don't think you wanna know why I use that

EmokidXD: It's because he's a bottom

Jisungsmom: how do you guy know 👀👀👀

EmokidXD: Well...

EmokidXD: how do you delete a chat message

EmokidXD: wait this isn't google

Richmf: So we shall conclude that Changbin hyung and Jinjin hyung are bottoma

Babie: nog-eul geol ne mam-eun ice cream

Sweet has changed their name to Jisungsdad

Babie: WAIT WHAT

Yourdeadtome has changed their name to Jisungsfather

Fullsun: are we changing our names to Jisung related things?

Fullsun has changed their name to Jisungsgandma

Bark: alright

Bark changed their name to Jisungsgandpa

Fichmf: Jisung( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Babie: mom pick me up I'm scared

Richmf has changed their name to Jisungssugardaddy

Jisungsfather: CHENLE WHAT THE FUCK

Juisungssugardaddy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Babie: I'm-

Babie: he ain't wrong- 

Jisungsmom: JISUNG YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO

Babie:Sooo basically Chenle was like “your cute be my sugar baby” And I was like “Your hot so sure?” And that’s what happened

JisungsGrandpa: CHENLE YOU BETTER NOT RUIN JISUNGS INNOCENCE

Jisungssugardaddy: You did it first not me🙄✋

Jisungsdad: ooh babe get the popcorn

Jisungsmom: on it 

Jisungsgrandpa: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Jisungssugardaddy: You and Hyuk are so loud I had to tell him that you guys were watching a really weird horror movie When he was younger and didn’t know what sex was 🙄✋

Jisungsgrandma: I- 

Babie: Wait they weren’t watching word horror moviesO-O

Jisungsfather: no...

Babie: Then what were they doing? Wrestling?

sunshine: HOW DO YOU KEEP HIM SO PURE

Jinjinsbby: maybe hE DOESN’T GO UP TO HIS BANDMATES AND GRAB THEIR DICKS

Sunshine: eye-

Baby: What does a “wap” mean

Drammallama: It means

Insomniac: Don’t you tell him!

Drammallama: Watermelon apple pinapple

Babie: thats a weird acronym, 

Babie: wait that means Mark hyung wants hyuk hyung to buy him wap?

Jisungsgrandpa: HYUK DONT TEL HIM

Jisungsgrandma: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jisungsgrandma: It actually means wet ass pussy

Babie: alright imma go hop off the nearest building

Jisungsmom: NO

Puppyboi: wait is Rinjun, Jarmin, and Jeno dating, Jisung And Chenle, and haechan and mark dating?

Drammallama: Wow my boyfriend is so smart😍

Puppyboi: :(

Jisungsdad: Good question, me, JARmin, and RINjun are dating, and Mark and Haechan are dating, while Jisung and chenle are two scardycats in love. 

Babie: I’m not a scardy cat!

Jisungssugardaddy: than date me

Babie: no

Jisungssugardaddy: He asking me in private if I was being serious and I said yes and then he said He’ll date me

Babie: I did not

Jisungssugardaddy: Do you want me to kiss you?

Babie: -/////- No

CuteQukka has changed their username to squirrel

Squirrel: Babes why can’t we be this cute?

Catlover: Because we aren’t diSGUSTING

Jisungsmom: DON’T INSULT MY CHILD YOU PIECE OF CROW SHIT

Babie: WFEPHOIEFHCBPIAHENFIEBFALBEFOIBFOIA

Insomniac: dear child what happened?

BabIe: SMOOCH SMOOCH 

Insomniac:?????

Jisungsgrandpa: He means Chenle kissed him

Insomniac: OOOH

Jisungssugardaddy changed Babies name to Chenlesbaby

Jisungssugardaddy: JISUNGS MY BABY AND AIN’T NOBODY GONNA TOUCH HIM


End file.
